DUOTONE :-§) friday special post

They're not satisfied with one color. No no no, they gotta have two. They are the positive and negative, heaven and hell, ying and yang, rose and thorn, life and death, Forrest Gump and Bubba of the mustache world. Ladies and gentleman, it's with great honor that Belowthenose presents, on this week's friday special, the Duetone mustache.

The Duetone species is often referred to as the "living antique mustache" since it reminds us of the good old days when movies and other visual arts were unanimously expressed in black and white. But as nostalgic as it may sound, the Duetone lives for today, and spreads its magical pallete of two colors in any mustache shape you can think of if: chopper, piriquit, 1800, etc and etc's friends. The only rule, as they say, is to "keep it in the grayscale".

So here's to the Duetones! May they keep representing this mythogical figure of the co-existing opposites, a conflict present in every man's heart. And woman too, supposing she's got a mustache.

november 30 :-§) honey, tonight I'm wearing my cantine toilet towel shirt

november 29 :-§) my name is Norbert, I have a mustache and I'm late for my nephew's birthday party

november 28 :-§) pimp my face: elton john

This PIMP MY FACE has sold over 250 million albums, had more than 50 Top 40 hits including seven consecutive #1 US albums. But the question is: HOW?? How, if our english Tiny Dancer never had a mustache?

Belowthenose’s theory: Elton inherited a biological facial impediment from his father, Stanley Dwight, and never got over it. This humongous hereditarian disaster was a constant burden on little’s Elton life, which explains his innumerous suicide attempts. But people like the blues, therefore they buy his albums.

In other words: Elton John is nothing but a crippled mustached who plays the piano and sings his mysery outloud, but, somehow, people dig it.

november 27 :-§) mustache stares at dead pigeon and has a sudden flashback to the glorious piriquit days

A mustache, during his life course, can go through many different phases. Periods. They re-invent themselves, adapt, create, experiment. And they do as such with one thing in mind: find their own hairy personality.

Today’s post depicts a mustache in the exact moment he recalls his glorious piriquit days. (Click here to study the Piriquit phenomenon). The bad news is he’s a decadent Piriquit. The good is that he’s got one foot on the Spartan Oracle of the Mustache Society.

A nostalgic moment. A pause of true beauty brought to you by the Official Mustache Database.

TIE :-§) friday special post

Considered by many the hanging rope of modern man, the tie has a large acceptance among the hairy business gang. And just like the mustache itself, it comes in all shapes and colors.

But listen closely: you’ll never, ever, I mean EVER see a mustache wearing a bow tie. Why? Do you know what a bow tie looks like? Goddam right it looks like a bigote (only its located two palms belowthenose, right on the neck). The bowtie can draw attention from our real hero, and that’s no good.

So here’s our little friday tribute to the well dressed, good looking mustaches of this great Armani world.

'Cause withouth them, how would the workplace have any dignity?

november 23:-§) mustarazzo

People hate them. People really hate them. But I ask myself: why?? You can't blame them for being annoying: that's their job, invade public people's privacy. You can’t blame them for Lady Di: they were innocently riding their bikes on a saturday night!

And besides, who’s to say that drunk chauffeur didn’t get distracted by the hairy nuance behind the camera? Hu? Aaaaand, if not for them, how would you sail your curious eyes through the celebrity maganizes? Hu?

Seriously, just leave them alone. Make way so they can't leave others alone.

november 22:-§) how often do you see a mustache with a crawling worm inside his forehead?

november 20:-§) international correspondent: spain!

november 19:-§) kid sees unpleasant mustache and stops to throw up from a bridge

Whatever he had that day, well, it’s a goner.
Fondue? Goner.
Pork chop? Goner.
Omelette? Waaaay down it goes, right into the river.

All due to a fuckin’ repulsive mustache. Fortunately the belowthenose staff is equipped with anti-mustache eye pads built to resist even the quickest sight of a fearful hairy beast.

Others, sadly, are on their own. And they give the world a nasty feedback.

1800 :-§) friday special post

Aaaaah gold old days... days when 1 outta 2 men walked around with the ultimate facial accessory. And not just a shy gattering of scattered rebel hairs between mouth and nose, but true fuckin alligator tails spread from cheek to cheek.

Aaaaah a few survived... and aaaaah, how lucky we feel when we bump into a 1800. Lucky and shocked, to be honest, ’cause the feeling you get is like facing right-here-right-now that asshole whose smartie political maneuvers kept you awake for the next day’s exam (you, not me)

Anyway, today’s their day, their special post.
Long live the 1800’s! And when I say long, I mean looooong.

november 16:-§) a mustache that hasn’t slept in 15 years

Think that's too much? Then click (here).
A rare case in which a mustachless person deserves to be metioned.

november 15 :-§) pimp my face: woody allen!

It’s with great honor that we introduce a new mustache series:

Actors, musicians, painters, filmmakers, etc-famousfuckers that somehow made it to the top without a mustache can now redeem theirselves. And the first of the series, as seen above, is the tiny manhattian neurotic jew.

november 14 :-§) mustache tongue-brushing slices of sausage from upper teeth

Hot dogs can be really tricky, can’t they? Oh they can. But they sure come in handy when the mustache’s out there, starving, and there’s no sign of AMPM within’ a 10 block radius. And what’s supposed to be a fast-food stop turns into a long after-the-food chase of sausage corpse, not to mention the cheap translucid ketchup forever on the victim’s favorite blue/whitestripe/billythekid shirt.

But as long as the mustache is clean and ready to go, there’s no real harm.

november 13 :-§) a true troublemaker fears no winter

november 12 :-§) mustache, with pity in his eyes, compares two razor ads

And please focus on the mustache, you pervert.

november 11 :-§) back from the dead

There are moments when a mustache-shampoo really lasts long.

november 10:-§) puppet mustache pointing nowhere while hemingway (background) takes a bite on monster kebab

ROME :-§) friday special post

This week’s special post comes directly from a city located at the Lazio region (so you see i’ve done my homework) with a population of approx. 2,705,603 people.

The first 2, we all know, were Romulus and Remus. The myth says they both exhibited a mustache after young age, which technically inserts them in the DOUBLE TROUBLE hall of fame. What came after is a looong sucession of facts and emperors and wars and swords and bla, but let’s skip the historical bullshit and jump directly to the Fall of The Roman Empire, cause that’s the only remarkable fact concerning this blog.

Well, fact is that Rome (which comes from Roma, or Amor if you’re a romantic dyslexic) only crumbled due to a subtle change on its citizens preferences towards personal apparel: the mustache - a trademark since Romulus and his hairy twin – was questioned and later outdated by the beard. Just look at those stupid cimented man standing on the Fontana de Trevi and some other useless monuments. All bearded fuckers!

Fortunately Rome is a cosmopolitan city and passive to international mustache influence, so we can proudly say its population regained conscience of the true classical beauty that lies within’.

Or, if you will, belowthenose.

ps: special thanks to Thais R. for capturing all the above with a limited but useful mobile.

november 09:-§) mustache in sports outfit

november 08:-§) international correspondent: argentina!

Our newest international correspondet comes from the land of Che. Musta-che.

Even though its two most famous icons (Carlos Gardel e Maradona – sorry for the overall ignorance) didn’t exhibit a “bigote“, argentinian men had “corrones“ enough to go ahead and let it grow.

Some, like Astor Piazzolla, later on became a famous Tango guy and eventually showed the world what a musical latin mustache could do. In a sad way through tango, it’s true, but just so you know that the path of the hairy resistance wasn’t easy.

november 07:-§) twin-mustache of Tio Carlinhos, Panda’s father

Panda, please, we’re waiting on his picture.

november 06:-§) sleepwalker

november 05:-§) swiss mustache

Listen up: I don’t know wether he’s from Switzerland, Canada or Japan, but this bicolor mustache sure looks patriotic to me.

And what’s up with this half-a-hat he’s wearing?
What does LST stands for?

Man, there’s some really weird shit walking the streets these days.

november 04:-§) exhibitionist

Now here’s a mustache who likes to show off. Just watch the way he overproudly exposes the magical forgotten area by the razor.

Oftenly considered a mustacha-non-grata by its hairy brotherhood, his letting the ego take over the mustache. That’s when things start to go bed. Next thing you know he’s proclaiming to be the new Belowthemaster.

november 03:-§) mustache in humble position, probably seeking advice on a harrier and more experienced mustache