TIE :-§) friday special post
Considered by many the hanging rope of modern man, the tie has a large acceptance among the hairy business gang. And just like the mustache itself, it comes in all shapes and colors.
But listen closely: you’ll never, ever, I mean EVER see a mustache wearing a bow tie. Why? Do you know what a bow tie looks like? Goddam right it looks like a bigote (only its located two palms belowthenose, right on the neck). The bowtie can draw attention from our real hero, and that’s no good.
So here’s our little friday tribute to the well dressed, good looking mustaches of this great Armani world.
'Cause withouth them, how would the workplace have any dignity?
november 23:-§) mustarazzo
People hate them. People really hate them. But I ask myself: why?? You can't blame them for being annoying: that's their job, invade public people's privacy. You can’t blame them for Lady Di: they were innocently riding their bikes on a saturday night!
And besides, who’s to say that drunk chauffeur didn’t get distracted by the hairy nuance behind the camera? Hu? Aaaaand, if not for them, how would you sail your curious eyes through the celebrity maganizes? Hu?
Seriously, just leave them alone. Make way so they can't leave others alone.
november 19:-§) kid sees unpleasant mustache and stops to throw up from a bridge
Whatever he had that day, well, it’s a goner.
Fondue? Goner.
Pork chop? Goner.
Omelette? Waaaay down it goes, right into the river.
All due to a fuckin’ repulsive mustache. Fortunately the belowthenose staff is equipped with anti-mustache eye pads built to resist even the quickest sight of a fearful hairy beast.
Others, sadly, are on their own. And they give the world a nasty feedback.
1800 :-§) friday special post
Aaaaah gold old days... days when 1 outta 2 men walked around with the ultimate facial accessory. And not just a shy gattering of scattered rebel hairs between mouth and nose, but true fuckin alligator tails spread from cheek to cheek.
Aaaaah a few survived... and aaaaah, how lucky we feel when we bump into a 1800. Lucky and shocked, to be honest, ’cause the feeling you get is like facing right-here-right-now that asshole whose smartie political maneuvers kept you awake for the next day’s exam (you, not me)
Anyway, today’s their day, their special post.
Long live the 1800’s! And when I say long, I mean looooong.
november 16:-§) a mustache that hasn’t slept in 15 years
Think that's too much? Then click (here).
A rare case in which a mustachless person deserves to be metioned.
november 15 :-§) pimp my face: woody allen!
It’s with great honor that we introduce a new mustache series:
PIMP MY FACE.
Actors, musicians, painters, filmmakers, etc-famousfuckers that somehow made it to the top without a mustache can now redeem theirselves. And the first of the series, as seen above, is the tiny manhattian neurotic jew.
november 14 :-§) mustache tongue-brushing slices of sausage from upper teeth
Hot dogs can be really tricky, can’t they? Oh they can. But they sure come in handy when the mustache’s out there, starving, and there’s no sign of AMPM within’ a 10 block radius. And what’s supposed to be a fast-food stop turns into a long after-the-food chase of sausage corpse, not to mention the cheap translucid ketchup forever on the victim’s favorite blue/whitestripe/billythekid shirt.
But as long as the mustache is clean and ready to go, there’s no real harm.
november 12 :-§) mustache, with pity in his eyes, compares two razor ads
And please focus on the mustache, you pervert.
ROME :-§) friday special post
This week’s special post comes directly from a city located at the Lazio region (so you see i’ve done my homework) with a population of approx. 2,705,603 people.
The first 2, we all know, were Romulus and Remus. The myth says they both exhibited a mustache after young age, which technically inserts them in the DOUBLE TROUBLE hall of fame. What came after is a looong sucession of facts and emperors and wars and swords and bla, but let’s skip the historical bullshit and jump directly to the Fall of The Roman Empire, cause that’s the only remarkable fact concerning this blog.
Well, fact is that Rome (which comes from Roma, or Amor if you’re a romantic dyslexic) only crumbled due to a subtle change on its citizens preferences towards personal apparel: the mustache - a trademark since Romulus and his hairy twin – was questioned and later outdated by the beard. Just look at those stupid cimented man standing on the Fontana de Trevi and some other useless monuments. All bearded fuckers!
Fortunately Rome is a cosmopolitan city and passive to international mustache influence, so we can proudly say its population regained conscience of the true classical beauty that lies within’.
Or, if you will, belowthenose.
ps: special thanks to Thais R. for capturing all the above with a limited but useful mobile.
november 08:-§) international correspondent: argentina!
Our newest international correspondet comes from the land of Che. Musta-che.
Even though its two most famous icons (Carlos Gardel e Maradona – sorry for the overall ignorance) didn’t exhibit a “bigote“, argentinian men had “corrones“ enough to go ahead and let it grow.
Some, like Astor Piazzolla, later on became a famous Tango guy and eventually showed the world what a musical latin mustache could do. In a sad way through tango, it’s true, but just so you know that the path of the hairy resistance wasn’t easy.
november 07:-§) twin-mustache of Tio Carlinhos, Panda’s father
Panda, please, we’re waiting on his picture.
november 05:-§) swiss mustache
Listen up: I don’t know wether he’s from Switzerland, Canada or Japan, but this bicolor mustache sure looks patriotic to me.
And what’s up with this half-a-hat he’s wearing?
What does LST stands for?
Man, there’s some really weird shit walking the streets these days.
november 04:-§) exhibitionist
Now here’s a mustache who likes to show off. Just watch the way he overproudly exposes the magical forgotten area by the razor.
Oftenly considered a mustacha-non-grata by its hairy brotherhood, his letting the ego take over the mustache. That’s when things start to go bed. Next thing you know he’s proclaiming to be the new Belowthemaster.
THROUGH THE WINDOW:-§) friday special post
They hide but they can’t hide. Ladies and gentleman, this is the „Through the Window“ mustache.
These hairy refugees can usually be found in sidewalk cafes, shitty-one-floor-we’ve-got-no-tables pizzerias, parked sightseeing buses or any other establishment whose furniture consists of a transparent wall.
But this protection is just apparent. While eating, thinking, waiting or just hiding from his natural habitat, the TTW mustache becomes an easy prey.
october 31:-§) felipão
Brazilians remember him well from 2002 (so do Germans) but he
currently belongs to the portuguese people, which leads us to a big parenthesis.
BIG PARENTHESIS
Our staff has been informed Portugal is a true female mustache bunker, which makes us long for an international correspondendent in the glorious land of the bacalhau. Anyone, please?
END OF BIG PARENTHESIS
Feilpão is worldwide known for a tough attitude towards his soccer players. But we all know where this respect comes from, don’t we? Not from chalckboard, not from loud screaming, not from the gesturing.
Felipão was successful in 2002 over one of the most mustached countries of the word: Germany. But what happened in 2006? Well, we’ve got a theory for you: an internal national conspirancy led by the portuguese female population willing to stop Felipão from associating Portugal to a male mustache.
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